The Road Trip part one!
by baka-basher
Summary: Weiss and Schwarz go on a road trip to Germany! Two trips...to the same place much Chaos... Contains sexual hints and and Yaoi! SxY Bx? AxK OxK? Includes Spice Girls, Bagerific FUN, and Yohji getting intouch with his inner gayness! Wait...Brad and Hillb


Pyroiceprince: Kay! I'm making an Arch (or whatever you call those) for Weiss! (Feels glares burning through her back )-And Schwarz! The first is the road trip to Germany! And theirs YAOI BOY AND GIRLS! YAOI! I'm making rated R for Language through…(not a lemon person…) Now I'm dedicating myself to these guys! And In return you have to review and make sure none of my friends hears about this! (Wusses…) This has Yohji and Schuldig at their most annoyingest! (Is that a word? well it is now…) So BE WARNED! Anywho there's Potty Language and Sexual References (concerning Hookers…)

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_ "It was a dark and stormy night…-_

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Schuldig glared up at Nagi and got up on his feet. "SONAVABITCH! WHAT THE FUCK CONVINCED YOU TO PUSH ME OFF THE ROOF?" Nagi glanced down at schuldig with a blank stare.

"You were annoying- and stupid enough to get that close to the edge". Schuldig climbed back on top of the roof and turned his **"your-all-against-me-aren't-you!"** glare at Crawford.

"ARE YOU JUST GOING TO LET HIM GET AWAY WITH THAT?"

Crawford rubbed his chin and pretended to think about it for a minute. "Well…you are annoying…and stupid so…yes, yes I am. Schuldig glared and was about to continue screaming in a high pitch voice when Farfello pushed him off the roof again..

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!"

(Upside down!) SKIP! SKIP! SKIP!

"I'm booooooooored!"

Aya's grip on the steering wheel tightened, Ken started inching away and Omi prayed to whoever the fuck was up there that Yohji was smart enough to shut up and leave whatever was left of Aya's sanity alone. Unfortounly for Omi, Yohji was just about to prove to the world that yes he was a natural blonde…

"Are we there yet?"

"THAT'S IT!"

Aya turned around in his seat and began making frantic grabs at Yohji who was just a little too far away for him to reach with his seatbelt on. Ken grabbed the wheel just before they all swerved in front of an eighteen-wheeled semi truck while screaming to no one in particular that "They were all fucking crazy and we're all going die". Omi was trying his best to calm Aya that killing Yohji wasn't worth it. After about ten minutes of this Aya decided that he would just confiscate all of the fags(1) that Yohji owned. Omi, Ken and Aya then turned around and just dared Yohji to complain. Yohji, not THAT stupid (or is he…) shut up and sulked.

Now for all ye who are confused…(like me…) The wonderful team that is Weiss found out that a mass murder who killed twenty woman escaped police and was residing a random town in Germany. Normally Weiss only took care of those Freaks who lived in Japan but Yohji got pissed and convinced Manx and Barman that they NEEDED to go after this guy. Slut…nah I'm just kidding! He promised each of them a date with Botan (what? He's hot!). Needless to say he didn't tell each other that the other would also be going out with him…(can you say bitch fight?)

So now Weiss on a road trip to Germany (yah, yah I know you can't drive to Germany from Japan but for the sake of the story they did!) and only about half a day in Yohji was bored!

"Can we at least take of our mission clothes?" Complain Yohji running his fingers through his hair "I'm getting hot…"

Aya glared at him in the mirror "We're on a mission. The clothes stay. "

"It's like ninety degree's outside!"

"We're on a mission." Little did Yohji know that Aya just wanted to see Ken in his should be rated X outfit (shouldn't he be talking about yohji…?) that was tight in all the right places…

"SO? When we're at home investigating we wore regular clothes! Germany is like a week away! (Anyone know how faraway Germany is?) Are we going to be wearing the same clothes everyday for a week? I'M NOT LIKE YOU AYA! I CAN'T WEAR THE SAME CLOTHES EVERY DAY FOR WEEK!"

Yohji came this close the having a breakdown, not quite though I'm saving that for later…

"What ever happened to Yohji shutting up?" asked Ken weakly from the front seat. Omi sighed and put on his headphones.

"Ken. I don't think he ever will…"

SKIP! SKIP! SKIPPY!

"IF YOU WANNA BE MY LOVER! YOU GOT GET WITH MY FRIENDS! MAKE IT LAST FOREVER! FRIENDSHIP NEVER ENDS! IF YOU WANT TO BE MY LOVER YOU HAVE GOT GIVE! TAKING IS TOO EASY BUT THAT'S THE WAY IT IS!"

"OH GOD! MAKE IT STOP!"

Schuldig was pushed beyond the limits of his sanity. To him if hell was this bad he would have shaved his head and become monk right then and there (I know I'm mixing religions sue me…). Farfello…had bought the Spice Girls album for their trip to Germany and had it up full blast. The poor telepath lunged for the window of the car, actually foaming at the mouth clawing at it like a wild animal. Brad was slightly amused at the fact that Schuldig was so out of it he didn't realize that the door was unlocked. And if Schuldig was in hell Nagi was in heaven. Finally he had something to torture Schuldig with! Finally Schuldig would pay for coming to his class in the middle of the day saying, "He forgot his Barney stuffed animal at home." Maybe Nagi thought to himself gleefully if Schuldig heard that song long enough, he would commit suicide and leave Nagi alone!

Nagi started giggling to himself and Farfello shrug and hummed to the lyrics of Spice Girls.

"Spice Girls hurt God…"

(Two hours later)

After Schuldig went into a seizure and Nagi almost wet himself from excitement Brad reluctantly turned off the CD and put on Korn's song Dragula Claiming that they still needed Schuldig but after that Nagi and Farfello could do whatever they wanted to him because he didn't give a fuck. So now after two hours Schuldig was back to his usual annoying smart-ass self and was complaining about the heat.

"Why couldn't we fly Brad? They have A/C and food!"

"Esset won't pay for us anymore and you used ALL of our money on that little shopping spree of yours. "

"Hey those were the bare necessities"

Brad was seriously considering turning the spice girls back on. "Every episode of Bugs Bunny and Loony Toons ever made is a bare necessity?

"….. At lest we could have taken your car! Why did you By this hunk of junk?"

"I had to sell my car for the Medical bills from when you got Nagi a Hooker for his birthday!"

"HEY THE BOY NEEDS TO GET LAID! And I didn't hear you complaining from when I got YOU a hooker!

"That's cause you were in a coma for the week after his birthday…"

"…."

"We on the other hand heard every word single word of it."

"….Shut Nagi…"

"Bite me."

Brad REALLY considered turning the spice girls CD back on…at least until they got the border… After all they couldn't have blood shed until they stopped Weiss from killing their Client (the mass murder…). Funny thing is if this guy was so afraid for his life. Why didn't he just fly them there? The guy was as rich as Takatori.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN AT LEAST I'LL SEE MY FUCK-BUDDY?"

"Oh common everybody knows you've got the hots for Kudo"

"SON OF-"

Brad sighed and pinched the bridge of his neck against the coming Migraine. First the Hotel roof and now this…

It was going to be a long ride…

TBC

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Okay first I didn't feel like explaining but when Nagi pushed Schuldig off the roof they were staying at a hotel. And don't ask why Esset wants Schwarz to protect this guy I don't yet.

Second No I'm not a perv I just think that's something Schuldig would do. Schuldig won't use Hookers though cause… well I think he can get enough on his own. Next chapter will be made when I feel like it….(I HAVE a life you know…) But I'll try to get it up soon (I think I'm a writing streak.) if your still confused review and ask and if you not confused….Well still review!

(1) i use a lot of british words and Fags is the british word for Ciggerts


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